By Rand Fisher, Sports Editor
It’s the most dreaded time of the year for guys. Everything turns pink and red and your heart is supposed to start beating out of your chest for that special someone. Sadly, that’s not the case for most of us since we buy cheap chocolates from CVS and steal some flowers from a vase in our house in a hopeless attempt at conformity.
Fear no more, gentlemen, as I have a guide to survive the love apocalypse that is Valentine’s Day.
Since the origins of Valentine’s Day include stories of prisoners and executions, it would be nice if some manliness got put back into the holiday instead of it being as sappy as it has become.
Unfortunately for us, football season ended almost two weeks ago, so we cannot use a football hangover to avoid doing stuff with our sweetheart. To avoid the candlelit dinner where you express your undying love for each other, find something you both like to do.
Romance is still an essential part of Valentine’s Day, so do not watch “Rambo” while eating ribs. Ice skating or skiing would be a good activity for both of you.
Oh, wait. We are men, and we are really lazy.
Stay at home all day with one another, eat ice cream and binge-watch Netflix. If you let her choose the first movie, you might even score some bonus points.
For guys who do not have a special someone, do not worry, because you are not alone. Not everyone has that high school sweetheart, but that’s OK – neither do I. Today might be the day to pick up the phone and talk to that girl you saw that one time who smiled at you a few months ago.
Not every girl has a boyfriend, either, so they’re in the same boat as us on Valentine’s Day. You might look back on Feb. 14 as the day you stole that special someone’s heart.
Whatever you do on Valentine’s Day, have fun with it. If you do hold hands and tell her how much you love her, I will be praying I do not see you. But guys do, in fact, have a brain, and using it once a year to think of clever things to do on Valentine’s Day cannot hurt that bad.
For all guys, no matter what situation your love-life is in, there is one hugely important thing to remember about how life-changing Valentine’s Day can be.
The NFL season has ended, but March Madness is only 30 days away.